All About Eva

I spent the better part of my young adult years wrapped around Eva Telari's little finger and we both knew it. I loved her with a passion I never knew could exist - that was Eva all over. She brought out the extremes in people. I never had a violent thought towards anyone in my head until the day she told me it was over. I didn't touch her of course. No matter how mad she could make me, there was nothing that could make me hurt her. The most I could do was throw the key to her apartment back at her with angry words I spent the year and eight months of her absence regretting. Not through any fault of Eva's, regardless of one or two of the stories going around at the time, I spent most of that time living with violent thoughts - and often following through on them. It was necessary. We were at war and I was determined not to die like my brother. I was scared, I made some mistakes, and I missed her.

We had been separated for over a year by the time she left but things were still awkward between us. Every time I saw her I got angry at how she had hurt me, then, without fail, she'd say something to try and make friends. She's ask about my Mom, offer me her alchemy homework, ask me to one of her plays. Sometimes she'd try to apologise and that was always the worst. I knew she was sorry for how things turned out and it was hurting her too, but Rad damn it, I wanted her to hurt. And then I'd get mad at myself because I still loved her and I couldn't bear to see her face go pale the way it always did when she was pretending everything was just fine.

I wanted to marry her. I was that crazy about her. I mean, she was my first. The first woman I feel in love with, the first woman I... you know. And we had been through so much together. I met her the very day Getigin brought the five of us into his class - what a day that was. Getigin only takes the best and to be invited into his class... I was already ecstatic. And Vlad surprised us all when he turned up in School that day - usually he only came to the city during the Summer and returned to Boldavia with the Autumn, and sure enough he had left us barely two weeks beforehand. I had to blink a couple of times when I saw him in the School courtyard. I still wasn't convinced until he waved me over and said he'd decided to move to Glantri permanently. It was good news, Vlad was a friend. But it was all overshadowed when he introduced me to her. Of course I'd seen her before, Eva liked to be noticed with her tattoos and the multicoloured cloak Scott had made for her, but I'd never stood this close to her before. I'd never talked to her. She took my breath away. She was beautiful and so excited to have her letter from Getigin, not to mention having her best friend Vlad not only in the city to stay, but in Getigin's class with her. I don't know if it's retrospect now but I always had the feeling I interrupted something between them that day. I always assumed it was to do with Yestifa.

Like I said, Eva liked to be noticed. But it wasn't always the attention she wanted. She wanted people to like her, and she desperately wanted people to approve of her - particularly her magic, as long as they didn't try to control it. None of the teachers could decide if she was their best, or their worst student. Especially Getigin. She loved learning magic and it wasn't unusual for her to disappear into the library for hours on end. What annoyed her teachers was that only a fraction of that time was spent on her actual lessons. She would get side tracked so easily, find something else that fascinated her. It didn't bother her that the books she needed for her latest fascination were restricted to certain classes. She must have been caught in the Graduates Library three or four times. We all knew how seldom she got caught. She was a passionate, excitable girl with a thirst for adventure almost as strong as her thirst for knowledge. It made her a brilliant actress, but it made her an easy target too for Yestifa and his friends.

Yestifa was one of those students you have in every school. Not very smart but a Noble father who taught him nothing but how he's better than everyone else. He had his posse around him that hung on every word - much like their father's would listen to his father. That was what was so different about Clarence. First of all he was smart, and second of all he learned to think for himself. I was never so proud of him as when he stood up to his father and told him he'd be friends with whoever he wanted. But not Yestifa. His idea of thinking for himself was impressing his friends by betting with them he could get into Eva's bed. The thing with Eva back then was she fell in love so easily.

By the time the day in the courtyard came everyone knew, because Yestifa made sure they did, that he had pretended to her he was in love with her for years, just waiting for her to notice him, practically swept her off her feet with promises and poems he stole from someone else, finally got his way then laughed in her face and left her. It was only three days before but she still turned up for school every day. She's always been brave that way. Good for Glantri that she at least never lost that. Vlad was the only one she would ever let see how much she was hurting. At least until that day when the five of us became, well the five of us.

Revenge is not the way to solve anything of course. We all knew that, especially Vlad whose Aunt Moskva was still alive at the time and probably lined up to yell at him after Getigin and his sister Tania. But we had just come face to face with what can only be described as a force of nature. Clarence would later dub it 'The Telari Phenomenon'. We'd all be sitting around quietly, doing our lessons, reading, sharing a meal, whatever, and she'd stop. She'd just stop what she was doing and look up and around at us all with her eyes lit and this smile she's trying to hide but can't. And we had to know what it was. Every time. Even years later when we'd all done several detentions, lab duties, or had terrible nightmares over her schemes, there was still something that compelled us to ask. What is it this time. That first scheme was what really did it. It was beautiful and it worked so well thanks to Yestifa being a complete idiot. She actually made him jump off the bridge into the canal! Sure there was a little magic involved to make him think he wasn't really on the bridge but if he had any intelligence at all he wouldn't have fallen for it. If he had any intelligence he would never have messed with a heart as good as Eva's. He kept well away from her after that of course. Shut his mouth too. But what I remember most is how all the time Getigin was yelling at us for the first of many times, I was thinking how utterly in love with the girl I was falling.

I of course never believed anything was going to come of it. Why would she want to be with me? A constable's son with barely enough money to make it through the school year. And I didn't know the first thing about wooing a girl. Like I said, she was the first. So I stuttered every time I saw her, went bright red if anyone mentioned her name, and became hopelessly distracted in the classes we shared. Clarence knew exactly what was going on. He didn't understand it, why she had me so... wound up, but that was something he wouldn't understand until Ryndi. I did a lot of stuttering because she was always there. It never occurred to me at the time that she was in love with me too. She got a good laugh out of that when we talked about it later. We did a lot of laughing that year. I sometimes wonder if life will ever be that wonderful again. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know I'll never be with Eva again, Vlad owns her heart now and he's far too smart to ever pass that up, and I've moved on from wanting her back anyway, but what I mean is everything was so simple then, so perfect. The worst we had to worry about was the trouble Eva would get us all into if we got caught doing whatever her latest crazy idea was. We didn't get caught that often - I think it was the danger of it that thrilled us into going along with her every time. That and the sheer confidence with which she convinced us nothing could possibly go wrong.

Anyway, somehow I managed to stutter out that I always had an interest in the theatre, I just never got around to doing anything about it. Next thing I knew I was being dragged over to the Playhouse to watch the rehearsal for her next play. I was sitting there in awe when the director, and Eva's first love, not that I knew it at the time, sat beside me.
"Eva says you're looking for a job. She thinks highly of you."
I didn't know what to say but he continued anyway.
"Go backstage. We can always use magical help on the lights."
I got up. Scott's a good director, he has a voice you don't dare disobey.
"And Mr Estanza? I won't see her hurt."
And he was gone. Back on stage shouting at her for getting distracted and being half a foot off her mark.

The evening flew by so fast once I joined the backstage crew. It was a whole new world and I instantly loved it. Plus I got to be close to her and share in that part of her life. I'll never forget the walk home afterwards. We were talking about the play and she took my hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world. And the thing was, it was. It was only a minute or two later when suddenly I realised Eva Telari was holding my hand! I had been talking fluidly until then about the backstage work and how the guys said she had been good at it before Scott insisted she be on stage. Suddenly I was stuttering again. She let go of my hand.
"What's wrong, Beck?"
"N-nothing. I'm ah... ye-you don't have to let go."
She pointed at the building we had stopped at. "This is where I live."
"Oh." I suppose there's not many people who don't know what it's like to feel like a complete idiot in front of the very person you least want to see you as a complete idiot. She was suddenly looking down at her feet and I just knew that was it and I had blown it. I wanted to get so far away from there. "Um, I-I sh-should go."
She was pale. I hate it when she gets like that. Even today it still makes me want to hold her and tell her everything will be alright.
"It's Yestifa, isn't it?"
"What?"
"The things he said about me. And things Rolend said before. That's why you're afraid of me."
There are some people in this world that you'd never imagine could doubt themselves. It comes as something of a shock when suddenly you're confronted with them being just as vulnerable as the rest of us.
"Eva that's not it at all! I don't care what that bastard says! He's an idiot!"
"But you're always so nervous around me like you can't wait to get away. I like you, Beck. And Vlad says you like me... but... am I annoying you?"
The next day in school she would thump me in front of the others for leaving her dangling there in silence so long but the truth was I needed the time to check I actually heard what I thought I heard.
"I am bothering you. I'm sorry. I guess I got it wrong." And she was turning away from me.
I just knew I had to stop her. If I let her walk away that would have been it. My mind was still making the decision when my hand grabbed hers and brought her back face to face with me. It was still working out what to say when my mouth blurted out, "Every time I look at you all I can think is how much I want to kiss you. That's why I can't talk straight."
I remember being so dizzy. Everything around me was fuzzy as if it wasn't really me, wasn't really her, and certainly wasn't us. She blinked.
"Really? You want to kiss me?"
My stomach was in knots. I had kissed a girl before. When we were ten me and Sal from next door practised kissing for when she would marry my older brother's best friend. I wished I had paid more attention instead of wiping off the girlie spit as quickly as I could. Eva found the strangest things attractive in a person but somehow I knew that wouldn't be one of them.
"Really."
"So why haven't you?"
I couldn't think of an answer that wouldn't make her change her mind about wanting to kiss me back. I blurted one out anyway.
"Coz I've seen you looking up polymorph spells. I was afraid you'd turn me into a spider or something."
I was sure I had blown it. She was frowning. Then, she started to laugh. In an instant the crushing tension that had been building was gone. The fuzzy look to everything went away and all I could see was her and that incredible laugh that made her even more beautiful if such a thing was possible. And with a surge of bravery, I kissed her.

I think I must have skipped all the way home that night. Mom was waiting up for me and so got to be the first person I told. She wanted Eva over to dinner the very next night. She loved her almost as much as I did.

Maybe things weren't as perfect as I like to remember them, but if we had troubles they were minor and easily solved. "The Telari Phenomenon" really earned its name when it brought us face to face with Kodair. Her scheme to summon a spirit from the land of the dead not only got us into a whole lot of trouble at school, but almost got her and her entire family killed off by Kodair over a feud that happened three hundred years ago in Ethengar, before there even was a Krondahar. A lot of things became very clear to me during that experience. Eva carried her past around with her a lot more than she claimed, and I would gladly have given my life for her.

There's only one secret I have ever managed to keep completely from Eva for any length of time. Even after my experiences in Chateau d'Ambreville when I was sworn to secrecy not to tell anyone what I had witnessed it took her only weeks to get most of the story from me. Like I said, I was wrapped around her finger, hers completely, and she loved hearing about the d'Ambreville's. She cheated of course. She knew by then exactly what I could and could not resist. And the rest of it? Well I told her that bar one minor detail when she came back to Glantri. She had already out done me by then anyway. I may have been the greatest wizard young Etienne ever saw but she was the one he found worthy. A good decision on Simon's part. Lucky 'responsible' wasn't one of the criteria. Maybe he knew responsible just wasn't going to get the impossible done. Anyway, I'm ahead of myself. The one secret Eva doesn't know is that I still have the ring I bought for her two days before she left me.

I was going to propose to her with that ring. Had it all planned. We were approaching opening night of Scott's newest play and afterwards I was going to walk her home as I always did. But before we'd go up to her apartment I was going to stop her in the same spot where we shared our first kiss. I was going to pretend to have to tie my laces or something so I could get down on my knees before she would get suspicious. By the time she knew what I was up to I would already have asked the question.

She beat me by three days and it came from out of nowhere. True, she hadn't invited me to stay with her after rehearsals for a couple of weeks but Scott was really pushing her, and everyone, hard and she was exhausted. I thought that was all it was anyway. I mean we had been together for a few weeks short of a year, we'd come through the whole Kodair thing, she loved the house in New Averoigne - I couldn't believe it when she asked me to skip air elementalism with her and go walking. Well, skipping the class I could believe, she knew how to fly by then and lost interest much to Urbal's annoyance, but when she told me she wanted to break up - three days before I was going to propose! And there was no reason for it! She didn't feel right about it she said, she didn't think she was in love with me anymore. I've had to stand there while a constable told me both my parents were killed, while an army commander told me my brother was dead, and all the things that have been happening to Glantri lately - and still the hardest thing I have ever had to listen to is her saying those words. I kept asking her why but she had no answer for me, said she didn't know. There wasn't somebody else - Leighton was the first person she was with after me and that was a year later. She didn't even know him at the time. It was nothing I did, she said. I kept thinking there must have been something, something I should have noticed and didn't because Eva always got upset with me when I didn't notice her being down about something. She swore that wasn't it.

I got so angry with her, I couldn't look at her. I left the theatre which Scott was not impressed with as he had to get someone very fast to take my part on opening night, and his leading lady was miserable too. He was mad at her for her terrible timing while at the same time hating to see her so unhappy. He told me later she had done the very same to him. They weren't together as long but one day she announced out of nowhere she was going to leave. She fell in love fast, out of it even faster. Scott and I weren't the only ones either. I suppose I can see why Vlad was so hesitant to allow himself feel what he's feeling. You just never know with Eva.

It was a horrible time. I used to lie awake at night dreaming up what I'd say to her if she came to me wanting me to take her back. I was going to tell her it would never happen, say everything I could to punish her, make her regret how she broke my heart. What annoyed me was the whole time I was thinking it I knew, first of all she would never come back, second of all, if she did I would never have said a word of it. I'd have opened my arms and let her crush me all over again. I hated that she had that sort of power over me. Mom and Pop were very supportive through it all, but what could they really do? We were still in the same class of course and still trying to keep the five together. It was hell. At least I thought so at the time. I didn't know how bad things could really get.

It was over a year later when I was back in the theatre again. Scott had another new play opening and his lighting director got sick. He came to my door pleading for me to help him out. Well I felt I owed him one. Eva and Gar were brilliant as always and the play was a roaring success. None of us had any idea the pain it was going to cause.

It wasn't anyone's fault really. Scott had to do what was best for the Playhouse. Selling the play to the Metropolitan meant saving the Playhouse and he had been fighting for years to do just that without telling any of us the trouble it was in. He was by no means happy about them wanting to replace Eva and Gar with their own actors but he felt it was a sacrifice they would both understand. Like I said before, Eva carried her past around with her. Being told she wasn't wanted was a crippling blow to someone like Eva. Eva didn't think things through at the best of times, but when she was angry, I mean really angry, she didn't think at all. But we all thought it was a good idea, her going to Boldavia with Moskva. Vlad had been trying to get her to go visit the Zepps ever since he found out after the Kodair incident that she was one of them. She had serious family issues and it drove Vlad crazy to see it. At least once a month he'd suggest she go to Boldavia or go home to Kern to make peace with her parents. She'd blow up at him and he'd drop it for another month. The truth is she was scared. She'd already been thrown out by her family once and she wasn't prepared to risk it again. But her fight with Scott over the play reawakened the flight instinct in her. I think the cause of most of Markus Petrov's anger with her was knowing it had been him and Vlad that put the idea into her head to go with Moskva.

I've never seen Eva so upset as the night she came back from Boldavia. Alexander Day. The Koranovs were another family with an ironic sense of timing. Seeing her like that, well you forget about petty little things like how she tore the heart from your chest and stomped all over it. Moskva Koranov was dead after saving her life and she knew all of Glantri hated her for it. Nothing we said could convince her otherwise, not when Markus was reaffirming her beliefs in front of everyone in Alexander Platz. But I never thought she'd run away. So naturally enough, I blamed myself. Maybe if I'd been kinder to her in the last year she wouldn't have felt so alone and unable to cope. It's stupid the things we can blame ourselves for.

It was a long time of course before I found out what happened between her and Vlad that night. He missed his own Aunt's funeral to be with her, to try convince her there was still a place for her in Glantri. It didn't do any good, she still left. Only now both of them were even more broken hearted than they would have been. What upset me more than anything was that they never told me. I can understand why I guess but I still get mad when I think about things I said to both of them in that time. I don't mind admitting it took a long time for me to be happy for them when they finally got together.

But I had bigger concerns at the time. I volunteered for the constabulary shortly after the Lothar attacked at the constable's ball killing my parents and half the constabulary. Things only got rougher. The school disappeared, the goblins attacked, Kol declared himself Emperor, Dolores Hillsbury came back... and Eva came home.

The first time she was here only a couple of days. We talked briefly with promises to talk further later. She never kept that appointment. The goblins attacked then and she escaped the city in the Sturmkondor along with Urbal, Armand, Ulrich, Kin, and Oculara. I was saddened she was gone but glad she got out. And glad I got a chance to say at least some of the things I wanted to her. Vlad wasn't here at the time. He was hunting down a book in Krondahar so he could break into his sister's notes and continue her research. Thinking back it was so obvious how he felt for Eva from the devastation in his face when I told him he had missed her. The next we heard of her was when Caelthon arrived to wake Caliban. She had been to the World Mountain and told the dragon there that the Dragonlord was in trouble. Even when she wasn't here she came up with the most extraordinary solutions. When she turned up again over a year later I really should have known she was going to turn everything upside down again.

I was on patrol with Thurg at the time. Things were quiet. No one really knew what to make of the new turn of events. We all thought Dolores Hillsbury died years ago in the explosion in the Tower of Sighs. It was what Pop used to call a false peace. Everyone was waiting for something to happen. I heard someone call my name, I turned around, and there she was. Still beautiful and so happy to see me. Covered in new tattoos and her familiar, Oberon, with her. She swore she wouldn't disappear this time and we could talk in the morning. I wanted to start that conversation right away lest she get whisked away again despite her promise, but I was on duty and she was exhausted. It was already past midnight and she needed to meet back with her friends before returning to Caliban's where he had generously offered her a place to stay. It was ten hours later but when she turned up next morning she looked like she didn't manage to get much sleep at all. We talked for hours and I remember it all.

I must have looked surprised when I opened the door. She smiled.
"You thought I wouldn't show, didn't you?"
"Eva, I gave up trying to predict you a long time ago. Come in. You hungry?"
"Starving. Look I'm sorry about last time. I really did want to talk to you more. I've missed you, Beck."
I was glad to have breakfast to busy myself with because that knot went straight to my stomach. She did that to me a lot.
"We've all missed you too Eva. You should have seen Vlad when he got back from Krondahar and found out you'd been here! He was so mad he missed you... and Clarry! He didn't remember seeing you at all until I pointed out to him the potion you left him had your writing on it. He actually stopped drinking for a little while he was so embarrassed about it." I knew I was talking too much but it was the easiest way to cope with her being there. It was much easier to think I was over her when she wasn't sitting in front of me.
"He was mad? That man has the worst sense of timing. I still can't believe he's gone again. Did he say when he'd be back?"
"Afraid not. You still like your eggs runny? Whenever he's happy Markus is safe I guess."
I finished cooking her breakfast and she ate it while we talked about Vlad, Clarry, and Eli some more. Finally she told me where she had been all this time and why she was looking for spell components for Master Urbal last time I saw her. It was quite an adventure, Darokin, Karameikos, the Sturmkondor... and I quickly saw things hadn't been any easier for her than they were for the rest of us left here in Glantri. I was sad to hear about Auriel, Armand, Kin, and Oculara. I hated the bitterness in her voice when she talked about Rotipher. We must have been talking for about an hour before she told me what she had been the last month doing.

"Where's the ship anyway? I'd like to see ol' Ulrich again."
"We left it in Kern. But he's here in Glantri. You can come with me and meet him later if you want."
I almost missed it. "Sure, that would be... Kern? You were back in Kern?"
She grinned that 'look what I just got away with' grin.
"Jenneva Telari, what were you doing in Kern?"
"Bringing my people home."
I wasn't sure I'd heard it right. "What people?"
"The people of Kern. Well, most of Sablestone actually. A few others too that didn't really have anywhere else to go after we broke them out of Urzud."
"You were in Urzud?! And you're only telling me this now?!"
"Papa was there."
"And?"
"And I almost messed it up a few times. But I'm his daughter again. He even told me I'm a good wizard!"
She looked so happy about that. No surprise really, it meant everything to her that her father still loved her. She never admitted it of course in the years when she believed he hated her, or in the time after Kodair told her the truth about her father's attempts to protect her. Bravest person I know but everyone is afraid of something. She spent another hour telling me everything that happened in Urzud and on the long walk back to Glantri, the fights she had with her father, their talks to try put it right again, how she was going to find her mother once she'd done what she needed to do in Glantri. Which raised my next question.

"Yes, this 'crazy idea' you mentioned to me last night. What is it?"
"Even I know it's crazy."
"Which is precisely what worries me. What are you up to?"
"Something I'll need your help with. Actually there's a few things I need your help with, and the others when they get back."
Eva always liked to tease. "Eva. Just tell me."
"You'll think I'm crazy. Caliban thinks I'm crazy but then crazy ideas are better than nothing for him and the kids right now."
"I've thought you were crazy since the day I met you, Eva. It only made me fall for you all the more."
I hadn't meant to say it but I was thinking it and it just slipped out. Her cheeks went red as she pretended not to notice it. The playfulness stopped.
"I'm going to get the School back, Beck. I don't know how yet but I did some studying on time magics in Thothia and I have a few ideas of where to start our research."
My own embarrassment was fast forgotten.
"Rad, you're serious about this."
"I know. It's an impossible quest. But that's what I'm good at, right? Doing things other people say are impossible?"
I didn't want to remind her that not one of those spells she got us all doing ever worked exactly to plan. The last two years had stripped her of her arrogance and her stubborn belief that there was no magic she couldn't do but she was trying really hard to get that back.
"If anyone can do it, you can. Whatever you need, I'll help you."

With that I was crazy too and it felt good. She got up and hugged me and within seconds was talking excitedly about different theories she had read about time markers, current movements, and other things that barely registered. For the first time in many months I felt like there was some hope for us all again. I admit, back then I didn't think she could do it, but her just being back in the city was enough. Things were close to being right again. It had been getting very lonely as the last of the five left.

The surprises didn't stop there of course. It was like she had two years of surprises to make up for and wasn't wasting time in holding back.
"Beck? I need you to tell me everything about your time with the d'Ambrevilles."
I was doing better getting over her. My memories of the times I spent telling her about it before made me smile. Two years ago I would have sulked at her, told her it was no more his business now than it was then. Time brings maturity whether you want it to or not.
"Eva, I've told you most everything about it. Surely you remember?"
She blushed. That was something you didn't see every day. "Are you kidding? I still can't believe I did that!"
"You can't?!"
Our comfort with such a topic could only last so long.
"Anyway, I need to know the rest. Who is Simon a cleric of?"
"I don't know, I don't think he's a cleric of anyone - what's this about Eva?"
"I met him. He came to Kern. Was very interested in what we were going to do and what we'd done. Said he had an impossible quest of his own."
"Are you sure it was him?"
"He didn't say at first, but I know it's him. He confirmed it when he came to see me later."
I didn't know what to make of it. "What did he want with you?"
"I know this is weird, but I think he needed me to fulfil part of his quest. He was looking for two people, see, and I think Ulrich's the other. He gave him something. Gave me something too. But see I think he was looking for someone on Etienne's behalf. He asked some strange questions that I guess I must have passed because he seemed to think I'd do, and..."
"Slow down, will you? Etienne d'Ambreville?"
"Yes! That's what I'm saying! Look, Simon said it was good you told me so much so he wouldn't have to tell me and could get on with his own quest, whatever that is, now that he's done with Etienne's... where is he Beck?"
"Eva that was years ago! I don't know where he went, just that he said he needed to think things through and he went off with his girlfriend from before..."
"I'm sorry Beckett."
She obviously remembered. Young Etienne needed to be convinced to follow his heart and risk telling the woman he loved his secret. I was at the height of my belief back then that love conquered all - it was mere months after Kodair afterall, and I was just the man to convince him. Eric and Kohair were ready to hit me if I mentioned Eva one more time I'm sure. It was one of her favourite stories.
"Hey, getting home to you was what kept me going when things got hairy there. I don't regret it, you know."
She smiled. "I don't either. It was a great year, wasn't it?"
"The best." I took her plate away and held out my hand to her. "Come on. Let's walk. I'll tell you what you want to know on the way."

She remembered then she had to meet the others at the Epitome Inn and she was eager for me to join her. I certainly wasn't going to let her out of my sight until I had to. When I got there I found even more surprises she hadn't got round to telling me. The Baron, her Alphatian friend Randall, and Balthazar. I didn't quite know what to make of him. She said he came from a different reality. When I found out he had been with Eva for three years in his reality... three years? We didn't even make one. I was so jealous and so glad he had never been born in this reality. Childish, I know, and I did get over it quickly - Eva had us all helping her and it didn't leave any room for petty jealousies... but it was strange. We both knew her so well in that lab and we were both dealing with losing her and having her right there in front of us.

He told me later how his Eva died. Made me promise not to tell her. She didn't want to know anyway - avoided the topic actually, but I sometimes think it would have done her good to know just what was inside her. It was a different reality but Balthazar and I agreed she was in so many ways the same person. The same stubbornness, fierce mood swings, consuming passion, kind heart. Eva would have sacrificed her life for any of us the way she did for Balthazar. I'm not just looking at her in a haze of past romanticism, she has proved it more than once. And still she doesn't see it. Still she blames herself for Moskva's death. She says she doesn't anymore, but... I know her.

I got a scare one of the days early in our research. She had barely been back a few days but we were all busy with getting back the School, I guess I forgot there were still things she hadn't told me. I went to get her when one of her potions started boiling but couldn't find her in Tania's office. That was usually where she went when she wanted some quiet to concentrate or to catch an hour's sleep. I finally found her in Moskva's office and I knew something was wrong. She had avoided that side of the office since we started working there. She tried to hide that she was crying from me but like I said, I know her. Eva can be emotional at times but she was never given to crying so much so when she did, well you knew it was something. And you knew to always ask her twice because when she says it's nothing the first time she's lying. I locked the door behind me so we wouldn't be interrupted and pulled a chair around beside her.
"You're sitting in Moskva Koranov's office crying. Do you really expect me to believe nothing is wrong? Come on, we know each other better than that."
"It's Markus' office now."
"Life goes on."
"Not for everyone."
She can be infuriating when she's feeling sorry for herself. "I know. But I have to say it does because for the rest of us it has to. You know what I mean?"
She let herself look at me and I could see how red her eyes were. She'd been in here for some time before I found her. "I know. But I still hate it. I hate feeling this way, Beck. I can't stand it."
I had to hold her. Any man who has ever loved a woman will know how much you want to protect her, even from things you have no chance of fighting. "Ssh... it's not your fault, Eva. Why won't you see that?"
She wasn't ready to be held just then. "I know it's not my fault! I didn't kill her, I didn't ask her to save my life! My only mistake was getting mad enough at Scott to forget I could never go to Boldavia!"
She was on her feet while I watched in some bewilderment.
"I really liked it there, you know? Felt like I belonged to a family again. Learned a lot and plenty more to learn. I wanted to stay longer but when Moskva told me she was leaving I knew I had to come home and make things right again with Scott." She sat. "And it was coming to the Day of Dread. I didn't want Moskva to be alone for that. I thought I was doing the right thing."
"You were! You couldn't know what would happen... and before you say it, Vlad told us about that mad woman you met before. It means nothing. No one can read what hasn't been written. No one."
"Actually, Lui's not mad."
Full of surprises. You would think I would have been used to it. "What?"
"Lui. I met her again the day I left. We travelled together to Karameikos. She taught me.... what? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You really are the strangest person I know."
She has a beautiful smile. "She does know things Beck. But I think she was sorry she ever told me that. She wouldn't tell me much else after."
Diversion tactics. I wasn't letting her away with it. "So why so sad if not over Moskva? You've been in such a good mood since you got here."
Another wry smile. "Guess I'm still a good actress. I didn't say it wasn't to do with Moskva."
"Tell me."
"The first few months after I... ran away... no, it's true. I did run. I got scared. I do get scared sometimes. Anyway I was so mad at her for not giving me the chance to fight - I thought if I could have just killed even one of them I wouldn't feel so bad." This was the hard part. She looked away from me. "Well last week in New Averoigne I killed three of them. And I don't feel better at all."
I could barely talk through the shock. "Wh... what happened? How? I thought they were all dead?"
"The one's that attacked Moskva, yes. These were more clerics. Of Alphaks. They were looking for Markus. I didn't know what they were at first, thought they were vice or something working for Dolores. Didn't know until after they got tired of us not co-operating the way they wanted and attacked us and one of their symbols fell out, but..." Her face was covered with her hands.
The thoughts of them touching her drove me crazy. "Did they do something to you?!
She snapped. "No! I did it to them! I killed them! They were already beaten, they weren't a threat anymore but I got so... I'm the first to admit I can be a bit impulsive, I don't think things through like I should. But I've never lost control like that before! I murdered them. I'm nothing more than a cold blooded killer, Beck. And I've been thinking - what if Moskva wasn't only saving my life but saving me from being a killer. And I repay her by exacting revenge on people who weren't even there! They just have the same damned Immortal!"
I tried to reach out to her, to comfort her, but she withdrew.
"No! Don't be so kind to me, I don't deserve it. Why do you always do this?"
I finally got hold of her and she didn't resist, just cried as I held her. I didn't really know what to say but I had to say something. "Eva, they were clerics of one of the worst of the Immortals! They shouldn't have been in Glantri and if they were looking for Markus it wasn't to do any good. And they attacked you!"
"We'd already won before I got murderous."
I lifted her face. "Now stop it. No one would deny you your right to be angry. They would have killed you without a second thought. Both times."
"And I'm no better."
"Listen to me. You're a good person. This doesn't change that. You did Glantri a service getting rid of them. Can you honestly doubt that for a second?"
"But..."
"No buts. Hey, I'm a constable. If I thought a crime had been committed here I'd have no choice but to drag you into the Tower, would I?"
"Maybe you should."
"Jenneva. That's not the answer here. You have a school to get back and you can't get out of that so easily. As usual your crazy ideas have people daring to believe you might pull it off. You've given us the best hope we have and you can't fall apart on us now. You understand me? I know it hurts but you'll just have to deal with it like the rest of us. You have to, Eva. Too many people are counting on you now."
She looked at me like she couldn't believe I'd ever be the one to tell her to grow up. It looked for a moment like she was going to take offence but it passed and she nodded.
"You're right. I'm being selfish."
"You're upset. That's allowed. But wallowing doesn't suit you."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Look, go home, get some sleep. You're exhausted. I bet you haven't slept right since leaving Kern, have you?"
"Longer."
"See."
"Why are you so good to me? When I've been so terrible to you?"
"Do you really think I would have been that upset over losing you if I thought you were such a terrible person? Do you?"
I said it to make her feel better but the truth was it was the first time I had seen it myself. Finally I understood why I had tried to hate her so much, and failed. But now was not the time to discuss that with her. We had pretty much agreed anyway that it was time to stop apologising to each other and get on with our friendship. I brought her back to Caliban's to make sure she actually went. Only left her when I was sure Caliban would see she got the rest and comfort she needed. I remember the first time I killed someone. It was during the riots and it was an accident. It wasn't my fault but I still felt terrible so I knew something of what she was going through. Except with her it was much more personal. There's really nothing you can say, just make sure she knows she has a shoulder when she needs it. And in Vlad's absence, that was me. There was no need for anyone else to know about it. It was probably just as well it came out then and she was forced to sleep. Ernie Reilly came looking for her the next morning and things got crazy - crazier from that point in.

It was so hard for her to go to Gregori when Ernie asked for her help. So much so she waited for me before going into Little Boldavia. Those days were hard for me too. I wanted to be there for her, be the support she needed like the previous day, and at the same time I was fighting myself not to let myself fall for her again. I knew it would be the end of me if I did. To this day I don't know how I managed it. I guess I was lucky Vlad got back when he did - not that I felt that way about it at the time. But there was plenty to happen before that.

Gregori welcomed her without a trace of resentment for her part in his wife's death. She visibly strengthened in confidence after that, though we were no closer to finding out Markus' location. We couldn't work it out. Ernie said that Vlad had cast a spell, one of Tania's, so that Gregori would know where to find them but only if someone unravelled the spell for him. But Prospero couldn't do it, Dolores Hillsbury's people couldn't do it, and Vlad wasn't to know that Eva would be home - or that she'd be that good a wizard to do it. At the same time our research made a turn for the better when she discovered the key Etienne gave her let her into the Amber House and a large portion of his library. She wouldn't say how she did it for a while, only told me when things got awkward that first night in Nyra and she needed to change the subject. But it would prove a valuable piece of metal. And if that wasn't enough, there was Eliza Hillsbury making other seemingly impossible demands on her. I really thought she'd slipped over the edge when she approached me with her next idea.

It wasn't quite as crazy as Eliza's. She wanted to bring Moskva back from the dead. I have to admit that as I thought about it, the less crazy it seemed. Everything was falling apart and if Moskva Koranov couldn't fix it... but there was the fact that trusting Eliza Hillsbury and her story of not liking what her sister had become was not a good idea. Eva was in two minds about the whole thing. She didn't want to trust Eliza, didn't want to get involved in necromancy, and at the same time was desperate to fix things by not having Moskva's death on her conscience anymore. She asked my about Antonio and would I want him brought back. In a second, I said. Glantri needed men like him. My parents too. I saw nothing wrong with bringing them back - if I could. And if the stories were true this wouldn't be the first time Moskva came back from the dead. Vlad told us all about how she appeared in Boldavia after dying in childbirth and no one really knew how that happened.

It's not really fair to Eva when we say she never thinks things through. She does. She was always the one that had dispels ready in case things went wrong, she was the one that did all the research and knew the risks. She just had a higher threshold of what she considered acceptable than others of her ability would. She believes in always aiming slightly higher, that's just the way she deals with her magic. This idea of Eliza's was definitely troubling her. So she came up with a crazy idea of her own. The Telari phenomenon was alive and well.

"What's your idea?"
"Well..."
"Eva."
"Okay. I think we should try it again. We could make it work, I know it! I know what went wrong last time. This time we could do it."
For just a second I thought she was saying something else, then the pieces clicked into place. Talking to the spirit of someone dead didn't count as interfering with death in her book.
"You can't be serious - you do remember how much trouble we got into last time!"
She waved it off. "That was all Getigin's doing, not us. Our spell didn't work. Nothing happened, that was it. But Getigin can't interfere this time and anyway it will work - you see I worked it out. Last time we were all focusing on different people, but if we think of the same person that would be better. And we're stronger now too! Our magic is better!"
I had that dizzy sensation that usually meant I was going to agree any second now.
"Well that much is true..."
It was all she needed. "Exactly! We can get Randall, Balthazar, and maybe Prospero to help because it's a Krondaharian spell and five is a better number. I'd prefer the others since they've been through it before, but we'll have to do with who we have..." Another thought hit her. "Unless we get Vlad and Clarry back before then! If only Eli were here, or Tania, but Prospero would do..."
It started making sense. Like she said, no one knew what Moskva wanted better than Moskva and if we could pull this off we could ask her. And she was right. We were all better with our magic than we had been - especially her. There were a lot more tattoos now. "We'll have five and that'll work?"
"Yes!"
"Yes... it will. By Rad, I think we can do this."
It was all the encouragement she needed. She hugged me before rushing off on her next idea.
"We can! I know it! Look I've got to go, I want to try something with Gregori, then we can get the others and get started..." And she was gone.

She came back from the smithy very pale but it had worked. She found out how to reach Markus but not without causing Gregori some pain and scaring them both. She was only guessing in her uses of Etienne's key but perhaps that's why Simon gave it to her. She was rarely afraid to use magic she didn't understand. Myself and Ulrich agreed to accompany her to Nyra and we were packing up when Ernie came to see her. She never did say what went on between them but Ernie was not happy with her when he left. I was too busy looking for a decent excuse to give Phoebe for my being away from work the next few days.

I felt like such an idiot wandering around in red and blue scarves with brown trousers and gold trim but apparently this was how Markus' contact would recognise her. Except of course she got it wrong. Viktor and I both spent a day in brown when it should have been grey. That should have been our first sign that all wasn't well with Eva, but we took her word that she and Gregori had both been in some state of shock after the key broke the spell. But that's not something any of us like to dwell on. It was the third day before we were approached by an uncertain bar tender.

We were brought to an abandoned keep where we met Markus. It turned out to be just his image but his remarks to Eva were as scathing as if he'd been there himself. I felt like punching him. It would have accomplished nothing and really it's none of my business anymore, but the urge was so strong as I watched her. It wasn't fair to say she screwed up wherever she went, there were a few hundred people in Kern who would definitely disagree. She was right about him still being angry at her. Now things were worse because she was angry at him too. In her mind he was deliberately keeping her from Vlad and that was about the worst punishment he could dole out to her at the time. I didn't see it for what it was of course. I didn't want to I guess. When I think about it her feelings for him were blindingly obvious as were his for her, but I kept telling myself they were two best friends whose last words to one another nearly two years ago were in anger and they wanted to put that right. For all I had seen and done by that point I was still naive.

But I became the centre of her attention soon enough after that. When finally she gave up on trying to follow Markus and turned back to Glantri in one of her more sullen moods, we were attacked. I was out of the fight before it even began and to this day that infuriates me. I was hit with an arrow and I remember her coming over to cast something on me so no more arrows could hit me, then there were snakes. After that I don't remember anything of the fight, just her pouring her healing potions down my throat. I told her once she was beautiful when she was worried about me. I remembered it as I came out of the sweat caused by the poison and saw her brown eyes looking at me. Almost said it again. Isn't it amazing how years can pass, things can change so much, yet still you're fixated on one period of time that every time you open your eyes you think for the briefest of moments that that's the way things still are? Or maybe it's just me. Actually, her face was covered in scratches and bites too and her head was bleeding from where she'd been hit. But her eyes were still as beautiful as I remembered. I used to love lying beside her, waiting for her to wake up so I could see them open. When I finally met her father, that was the first thing I noticed. Same eyes. Her tattoos are the very same colour. All part of the twisted logic that goes through the head of a fourteen year old girl trying to stand up to her father I suppose.

It was Alphaks and it didn't end quite as satisfactorily as her last encounter with his clerics. Some of them got away and not before doing some serious damage. There were scorch marks all over the road. I didn't have to ask her to know Eva had lashed out with lightning bolts again. I suppose if any good did come of us being attacked on that road it was that she no longer felt as bad over what she had done in New Averoigne. Not that having one less thing to feel bad over does much good when Eva's at the lower points of her moods. We managed to get horses when we got to the hamlet the clerics had just burnt their way through and we picked up Snow and Theyla. In between Theyla trying to impress upon us what a great wizard she could be, I spoke with Eva.

"We didn't do too badly, Eva. We got Viktor delivered safely, and we're still alive..."
"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Still alive. Not dead yet."
"Stop it." I hate it when she gets like that. Like no one would care if she lived or died. She knows it's not true, because if nothing else she cares - and of course there's a lot of others who care too. But when she was on the worst of her downward swings she would let sorrow consume her until someone snapped her out of it. I think she needed proof that someone cared enough to do it.
"Stop what?"
"Whatever it is you're thinking. I know that look."
"Well you know what? I'm sick of being told how well people know me!"
Theyla had been on her way back to us. She changed her mind and stuck with Ulrich and Snow.
"He's wrong, Eva. You ask anyone in Kern, they'll tell you he's wrong. Those kids you were teaching in Karameikos - they'll tell you he was wrong."
"Before their school burnt down?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing - her wallowing had reached a new low if she was taking that on herself. I was stunned, I didn't know what to say, "You were nowhere near it! You can't possibly think it had anything to do with..." and then I noticed the faint lines of a grin. "Eva!"
"Sorry." She smothered a laugh. "Sorry Beck, I couldn't help it."
"That's the last time I try to cheer you up!"
"No really, I'm sorry. Sorry. Forgive me?"
I let her hang for about ten seconds before grinning back at her. "You're too much sometimes."
"Things were just getting a little heavy, you know?"
"I noticed. But I mean it. Markus doesn't know what he's talking about."
"But you can see where he gets it from. I don't exactly have much in my life that I didn't screw up at one point or another. It's because of me that my family is broken up, I've endangered all my friends at one time or another, lost more teachers than I can count, can't keep a relationship going, ruined a play, got the saviour of Glantri killed... maybe he's not too far off the mark."
I laughed. "You've got to be kidding. Your family broke up because of the Kodairs - anyway you've fixed things with your father. And we always knew what we were getting into with you and we'd do it again. You certainly can't blame yourself for Getigin's disappearance! Or Urbal's! You didn't ruin the play, you didn't get Moskva killed. Okay, you might be right about the relationships part, I mean you broke up with me, you don't get bigger screw ups than that." I grinned at her just to make sure she knew I was kidding. She grinned back. "But who hasn't screwed up a few times? Markus Petrov isn't so perfect himself either. Hey, he almost got Moskva killed himself a couple of times - and once when he was only ten. Don't let him get to you."
"I'm trying not to. Really. Trying so hard I was too slow to react when we were attacked. I should have got to you sooner. I'm sorry."
"I should have been paying more attention, not let myself get hit and have been there to help you. I'm sorry."
"Beckett..."
"Eva."
"Okay, I get the point."
"Look, I know you wanted to see Vlad and Clarence and get them to come back and help us, but if Markus wants to be paranoid there's not a whole lot we can do about that - more than you already did. Right now we've got to get back to Glantri and get on with our work there, right?"
"I'm still mad at him."
"Well that one I'll allow you."
"Thank you. That's so kind."
It hurt to do it but I managed to reach over and squeeze her shoulder. "Hey you know what? I think you're the greatest wizard I've ever known." Well it cheered me up when I was told the same thing a few years ago. Granted, it was all the better for hearing it from Etienne d'Ambreville...
She blushed. "You don't know many wizards, do you?"
"With the kind of compassion you have? Not many. Don't worry, okay? We've still got a few crazy ideas up our sleeves to make Getigin cringe - and we'll be able to watch him cringe in person too. When Vlad, Clarence, and Eli get back they'll kick themselves for missing all the fun. You'll see."
"You know what? You're right. We're not going to quit now - I won't give Markus Petrov the satisfaction. I'm back whether he likes it or not and I'm going to help too. He's not the only one that has a plan to save Glantri."
"Right. You got it."
She smiled. "You know me so well - do you know how much I love you? As a friend."
Rather hastily added amendment, but I knew what she meant and what she was trying to avoid. It was one of the things I loved about her - that she was never shy to let a person know how she felt about them. Of course I hated it when she was not being shy about telling me she wasn't in love with me anymore but it had to be done. Better that than living a lie.
"Yeah, I know." Glantri rose up to us when we got over the next hill. "Hey, we're home! Race you!"
Neither of us were in a fit condition for racing but we did it anyway. That's how it was with us. Always pushing that little bit further. At least she was laughing.

The next week was so busy. She actually managed to teleport herself to Kern to see her father and cry on his shoulder over how Markus was being mean to her. It helped her. She had her focus back when she returned and she put it all into our research. She brought me with her to the Amber House and through the d'Ambreville's gate to the chateau. It was amazing how easily she could get in anywhere she wanted with that key. Very few people challenged her and upon seeing the key around her neck they always let her be. And we were well taken care of, the servants made sure both of us and Oberon were well fed. I'll never forget when we walked into the chateau library. I had seen it before and was still easily impressed, but her... she has such passion for magic that she can't walk into a place with so much of it and not lose all power to speak. She was running from shelf to shelf muttering "wow, oh Rad, this is... Rad, wow..." and other such things. I couldn't help but smile. The one detail I hadn't got around to telling her was that Rad and Etienne d'Ambreville were one and the same. She was in the library of the 'source of all magic' and she didn't realise it. I considered telling her but that was one secret if he wanted her to know Rad was going to have to tell her himself. Her enthusiasm was contagious. We worked hard, us, Randall, Balthazar, and Snow and very soon we were ready to attempt the summoning again.

It was something else, alright. There was no doubt this time over whether or not it had worked. What can only be described as a guardian came to ask who was looking for Moskva Koranov. She didn't care that Eva said she needed her help but she seemed to be as stunned as the rest of us when Eva said she needed her forgiveness.

One of the scariest moments in my life was after our second attempt at summoning. It was the one Getigin arranged for us, with more help from Kodair than he knew about. The following morning I went to Eva's to find her in a sleep I could not wake her from whatever I did. I lifted her eyelids to see if that would wake her and I was met with a vacant glazed scare that would wake me in the middle of the night for months to come. There was only the beating of her heart and the occasional breath to keep me from going insane that day. When the guardian let her and Prospero pass I saw that look again. Like a house with the lights on but no one inside. It was everything I could do not to break the circle and I could see Balthazar was having much the same difficulty. We never said a word to each other but when our eyes locked we were all that was keeping the other from breaking. Finally it was over and she and Prospero came back to us. Wotan had met her and told her that a promise ensured Moskva would not be disturbed. She came back with a determination that she too would keep that promise. I never could decide if that was good or bad news. I was too worried about what she wasn't telling us. And so was Balthazar.

I wanted to talk to her about it but that was when Dolores Hillsbury chose to make her announcement that all magic users would join her at the School. Well no sooner had she finished her decree but Eva stated that none of us would be obeying. Things went crazy after that as she set about working out how to avoid the trouble that this was going to bring. As a constable I was reasonably safe I thought but the rest of them, they were going to have to get very good at hiding. Chateau d'Ambreville was the natural choice. Especially once we found out how to work the time field. Eva was never much good at staying put. She was out checking on Caliban and the Baron while the rest of us worked in the lab. Randall left us momentarily to search the library with Claude hovering over his shoulder. Balthazar and I never spoke much about Eva before that. We both knew of the other's history with her and left it at that. But the summoning was still bothering him and the unwritten rule was broken.

"Beckett? Could I perhaps ask you a question, one you need not answer."
The tone of his voice told me exactly what it was about. "I'll answer if I can."
"You and Eva have... remained close."
"We try. It's not easy."
"But you would still call her a friend. And I have seen how she confides in you."
I could feel myself starting to blush. That she still needed me meant a lot to me. "When it suits her. She doesn't tell me everything."
I never saw Balthazar smile much but there was the flicker of a knowing one for the briefest moment before he suppressed it into one of melancholy. "She had a gift for omission."
"Has." There was something creepy about using the past tense to describe Eva, even if technically it was correct for him.
"My apologies. I meant nothing by it more than that I would not presume to comment on her honesty in this reality."
"They don't come more honest than Eva. If anything she's too honest at time." Like I said before, no one wants to hear the truth that the heart of their universe isn't in love with them anymore.
"A lie by omission is still a lie!" He snapped. I let it pass. She never told him what she was going to do. She knew he would never have let her give up her life to save his.
"What's troubling you, Balthazar?"
He accepted the shift in conversation with relief. Momentary relief anyway. "What did she mean? That she needed forgiveness?"
Ah. I should have guessed it was that but it was difficult to remember that not everyone knew what happened that day. "She didn't tell you then."
"We don't talk much. Outside of the work."
"The last thing Moskva Koranov ever did in this world was save Eva's life. In so doing she couldn't save her own. There are some people, Eva included, who would blame her for what she couldn't have prevented. It preys on her mind, even when she says it doesn't. I mean she left Glantri because of it."
Balthazar was nodding. "I understand." There was no doubting he did. "But she is wasting her time. There is nothing anyone will ever be able to say to her that will take away the mark that is left on her."
"Actually I think there's one person who could do it. I'm just not convinced he ever will. But it doesn't matter. Because what I think is this. Once upon a time Glantri needed Moskva Koranov. But this is a different time and maybe what it needs now is a good wizard with a strong heart. Maybe the right person survived that attack. Maybe Moskva knew it and has already saved Glantri by seeing to it she lived."
"Are you still in love with her?"
My stomach did a somersault. "No. But I do love her. And I believe in her."
"As did I."
"You can believe in this Eva too. Surely you know that by now."
"Yes. I can believe she'll get herself killed by pushing herself further than she can handle and all for a stupid reason. That part of her is just the same. She may not be my Eva but I could not bear to watch her die again."
It was something I didn't like thinking about. I had my own set of beliefs to protect me from such thoughts. "She knows what she's doing."
"Yes she does. And she always ignores that it's more than she's able for, she doesn't care about the danger - things could have turned very nasty when she was in there with Wotan or whoever it was! You saw her too, if those spirits turned on her there would have been nothing we could do!"
"But nothing happened! She's fine. She's safe."
"No, she's walking around Glantri visiting just the people Hillsbury will be watching for her!"
Suddenly I knew what was troubling him. It had crossed my mind too. Eva was good but bringing back the School - that was a big job. "She won't get caught, Balthazar. Nothing is going to stop her from doing what she set out to do. And I think she'll pull it off, with our help. And protection."
"That's just it, Beckett. I don't think we can protect her and that drives me crazy."
I had to admit, he had a point. "It won't stop me trying. Will it stop you?"
And finally his lip twisted. Really there was nothing else to do in this kind of situation but to accept that Eva will be Eva, whichever Eva she is, and all we can do is try to be there for her. "No. Not even if I wanted to."

She was adamant that this spell to bring back the School be early in Swiftmont and not a moment later. She never said a date for as long as she could get away with it but I was starting to have my suspicions. I hoped I was wrong, that not even Eva would be crazy enough to consider even possibly dreaming of what part of me knew she was thinking. That was the problem, it had just the right edge of desperation. And ultimately I knew as well as she did that this was our best chance. Maybe even our only chance. And Caliban, he was putting more and more pressure on her not to mess this up, though perhaps not as much as she was putting on herself. When he left Glantri with two weeks to go to the Red Moon and the spell, well she knew there was no turning back. He was depending on Tania being home with their children by that time and Eva wasn't about to let him down. That was when she told us.

I guess she must have been as crazy in Balthazar's reality too because he wasn't much more surprised than I at her latest plan. Or he had resigned himself to the fact that this was indeed the only way we were going to pull it off. That was my excuse. Our biggest concern was Randall - how would he handle his first red moon? It was a potion she felt she could add to her repertoire - to stop it having an effect on Randall, but the problem was he needed the effect just like the rest of us if his location spell for the old time marker was to work. She must have decided to hope her theory that if he remained focuses solely on doing his spell he'd be okay would hold true. Unfortunately by the time the night came I wasn't with them anymore.

It was the day after Eva's turnaround - Theyla wanted to summon and exorcise the ghost of Dalgaard that had attacked her and Eva immediately launched into a lecture on the danger and stupidity of such a plan. I swear some of it was word for word of what Getigin had said to us that night in his office. She has a fine career ahead of her as a teacher, that much is certain. But anyway it was the next day when Eliza Hillsbury caught up with me. Eva reckons she knew I was working with her and she sent me to Dolores in the School to get at Eva for not helping her with her plan to bring back Moskva. From what Randall told me later Balthazar had to do some fast talking to knock some sense into her and stop her from coming to get me. I owe him one for that. I would never have been able to forgive myself if Eva was captured over me. Dolores was on to her scheme by then and had constables surrounding the Amber House waiting for her to appear.

So when the night came I was already in the School with the other magic users - most of whom could barely read a scroll - casting spells at the crystal. Dolores had them all in a frenzy, especially when the dragons came. The events that followed all happened so fast, I still can't get them straight in my head. I've never seen dragons that big before and Dolores turning into the blackest I've ever seen, that scared me to the end of my wits. Some of us had the sense to run. Everyone else was killed by the other large dragon. Ulrich was there too, and the Baron was actually tackling the Dolores dragon. Synn. That's what the other dragon, Pearl, called her. There were time fields opening and things called Carnafex, and then there was the School.

She did it. With Randall and Balthazar's help Eva found the marker, switched it for the one she constructed, and cast all the necessary spells to find the School and bring it back. What started as an impossible quest actually happened! I have never before seen her so excited. She told me later about the surges of power that went through her and the red moon was definitely playing a part in her disposition by the time I caught up with her again in the main courtyard. Grand Master Haaskinz himself had given up on trying to make sense of anything she said and demanded his answers from everyone else. Master Getigin was still trying to unravel the three different things she was saying to him at once. She just had so much to tell him. He was her mentor and the one person she most wanted to be proud of her magical development over the last two years that she couldn't tell him everything fast enough.

The next few days were so busy. We went back to the Chateau to tidy up the lab and she felt it only polite to inform Claude of the results. We all knew she had no intentions of never going back there like she joked about. Eva Telari could never in her life walk away from that much magical knowledge. Haaskinz of course wanted a full report of exactly what we had done. He barely said a word as she talked him through it all, our theories, investigations, conclusions, and blind leaps of faith. Then finally I got to visit the Sturmkondor after hearing so much about it. Balthazar, Randall, and Master Getigin came with us and we teleported to right outside her father's house. Now that was quite an interesting and exceeding awkward moment. Eva was so sure her father and Master Getigin would get along. It just goes to show that naivete isn't so easily removed. Whether he'll admit it or not, Getigin has become very fond of Eva since nearly getting her killed by Kodair. It's not that far a stretch to say he was like a father to her in the one big way her own father lacked. He encouraged her magical education. For the rest of us it seemed perfectly natural that Serak would feel uncomfortable around this man his daughter looked up to so much, and that Getigin would be silently mad at the man who tried to smother her talents for so long. But Eva's ever hopeful.

A few days later Vlad came home. With Dolores or Synn gone, to Rad only knows where or when, Ernie got word to Markus that it was safe to return and Vlad came with the advance party. I don't like to dwell on those few days. I was pretty mean to Eva and did a couple of irrational things. At the end of it all what I couldn't deny was that as much as it pained me, I had never seen her so happy before. Not even with me. Now don't get me wrong, Eva was always a very optimistic individual and full of joy. She said there was no point being down about things you couldn't change so it was best to get over them and move on to the good stuff. It got harder as things got worse of course, and I'd seen her in some pretty bad moods by then, but somehow she always came out the other side with a smile. This was totally different. Even when she was crying, even when she was so mad at Vlad and I she could barely speak, the happiness was there in her eyes. I was someone she fell in love with. Vlad was someone who completed her.

There was of course no question that our differences would be resolved rapidly. Clarence made it quite clear he wasn't playing 'piggy-in-the-middle' this time and he and Randall organised the party at which we were all supposed to become friends again. The truth of it was I made my peace with both Eva and Vlad before the party started. With the exception of one apology. I had to cut into their dance for that.

"Mind if I cut in?" Tapping Vlad's shoulder was like breaking into the little shell they had built around themselves. They had that look, you know the one, where everyone else in the room just disappears. Except maybe the person singing in the background. They had just made up after their first fight - one on which my name had popped up leading to the rather embarrassing incident where Vlad and I came to blows just as Eva and Getigin walked in. Rad, was she mad with us both! Vlad and I settled our differences after that and he had managed to convince her to forgive him, but I still had to face her. Interrupting the present moment between them mightn't seem like the wisest idea, but I could tell it was going to be a very long moment. All I ever wanted was for Eva to be happy and tying up this last matter with her, I knew that would make her happy.
Vlad stepped aside graciously, patting my shoulder as he did for luck. So I stood facing Eva, suddenly stuck for words again.
"Are we going to dance or just stand?" She was smiling as she said it. Sometimes she got too much enjoyment out of my nervousness. I took her in my arms and we danced.
"Nice rose." She had a white rose pinned to her dress. It wasn't exactly a great opener but I needed something to get us talking.
"Where he got it this time of year I don't know. I didn't ask."
"Maybe the Koranov resourcefulness didn't miss him afterall."
"Or the bad timing."
It was hard to smile at that. I was as much a victim of Vlad taking so long to notice her as they were. If not more. But I did it anyway. "But you two are okay now?"
She nodded with a smile I could tell went over my shoulder to where Vlad was talking to Clarence and watching us. "I can't stay mad at him."
"How about me? Do you think I could jump in on this wave of forgiveness and apologise for being such a jerk?"
"Some girls might like it, having two men fight over them, but not me. I don't want to be someone that brings out the worst in two of the most gentle and kind men I've ever known."
My head might nearly have come off I shook it so hard. "Eva, no. You didn't bring out the worst in us, we did that all by ourselves. I wish I had some excuse to give you for it, but the truth is it was inexcusable. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with us being a couple of jerks." I sighed, trying to explain to her what I really didn't understand myself. Apart from my work in the constabulary where it was necessary I always tended to avoid physical confrontation. What was the point? Someone only got hurt. I still don't know why I took a swing at Vlad but I do know I felt a whole lot better afterwards. And I was pretty sure it was over and I'd never feel the urge to do it again. So far so good. "It won't happen again, Eva. I swear."
She hugged me then. It had been a lot easier than I expected. Maybe getting in my apology right after Vlad sweeping her back off her feet in a private gondolier wasn't such a bad mood. "So you forgive me?"
"Of course I do! We've been through too much to let this come between us! Thank you Beckett."
"For what?"
"For staying my friend. I know I haven't made it easy." Her eyes had that intense emotion behind them and I knew at that moment that all of it was true. She always loved me, was even in love with me for a short while, and she still did. What she felt for Vlad was very different but on that night it seemed to me like I hadn't done so badly at all. There are definitely worse things than having a friend like Eva Telari.
"Eva, loving you has been the easiest thing I've ever done in my life." I hugged her. Half to make sure she understood what I wanted to tell her and half to hide the tears that were threatening to come. I tend to get a little more emotional than a tough city constable is supposed to in situations like this. Though oddly enough it's something only her and Carly can do to me.
She laughed then, right when Juli started into a much faster song with the awkward accompaniment from Eric. And so the dance changed and Clarence swooped in to twirl her about the floor. And five seconds later Carly walked through the door. Clarence had invited her knowing I had another apology to make. It was a landmark night all things considered.

Things did get easier after that until one day I woke up and I was suddenly very glad Eva broke up with me all that time ago. Even she admits we probably would have had a good marriage if we had gone that far, but neither of us would be as happy as we are today. Tying off that loose end with Eva left me free to mean my apology to Carly. For a while it looked like that might actually work and I was falling in love again. I guess I did. And it hurt all over again when it fell apart, but at the same time it was a little easier for the friends I have.

It was a beautiful wedding when they finally got it together. Of course they had, and still have, a whole lot of complications in their life. Eva's Princess of Boldavia after an association with Sir Boris that scared the hell out of us all and Chancellor of Princes too. There was no way she could resist Getigin's offer of a post at the Great School. She's a brilliant teacher with a lot to say on alternative magics and group castings. Things got somewhat crazy when Eli finally came back. She had scores to settle over her husband's death, Clarence was insistent on summoning Randall who had died by Boris' hand during the above mentioned incident none of us like to talk about much. We never actually did summon him but Eva and I are the only ones who know that. It was the most amazing feat of phantasmals and her limited mind magics, and of course her acting skills, that I've ever seen her pull off. I kind of like that it's our secret. Anyway, at the same time all of this was happening, Eva discovered she was pregnant and her dependence on some of her potions came to light. It was tough. I admit I had to fight very hard to be what she needed during that time when all my visions of me and her having children came floating back to me unbidden. But we made it. And they made it. Once Eli's problems were, well, beheaded, we went to Rymskigrad in Boldavia and watched them get married amongst the foundations of the 'Principality of Boldavia Government Buildings'. Best known for its centrepiece the 'Moskva Koranov Court of Justice', which is known more commonly these days as just 'Koranov Tower'. They wanted their marriage to be the first of many official activities carried on in those walls. It was small, just us and their parents, but they more than made up for it when the ballroom in Telari Manor was refurbished. That Manor was always a focal point of great Glantrian society parties and if Eva has her way, that legacy will remain. Except that that 'society' is a lot more mixed these days.

Their son was born last night and I can genuinely say I'm happy for them both.I find myself almost as over the moon as they no doubt are since Eva asked me to be an Uncle to the child. Clarence and I have to go fetch Eli now. I haven't seen Eva since the birth but tonight we'll all be together again with one little addition. I'm looking forward to it. It was so much easier for us all to stay together when we were in school but lately we've started to drift. Oh don't get me wrong - we're all still best of friends and we see each other whenever possible. It's just that 'whenever possible' isn't every day the way it used to be. Eva nad Vlad have Boldavia to run, Eli has her people in Wendar, Clarence and I can get very busy in our constabulary work. Occasions like this matter all the more. It has been a tumultuous couple of years. But as usual we've pulled each other through it and now there is a new life come of it all. Tomorrow is a celebration for all of us.

Back to Index.