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[Paide, Estonia: Christmas Eve 2011]
There were times when Tatiana feared she would forget her native tongue amidst all the Russian and English she conducted most of her life in, but listening to the gossip, bickering, and whispered sweet nothings on the train all around her, it hardly seemed possible. So easily her thoughts translated themselves back to Estonian - back home. It was the only time she ever used the trains. Her mother worried (and perhaps not without good reason) if she drove and she simply didn't want to just 'land' at their family home. Time pressure always made it unfeasible to do anything but fly to Tallinn, but she liked to go the rest of the way on public transport. It made her feel almost normal. It was a journey far too seldom taken.
She smiled as the train pulled into the one platform station just west of Paide town centre. She had been deliberately vague about which train she would get in the hopes that her mother would, this time, stay at home and not wait out in the wind and bitter cold for her. To no avail. There she was staring into every window as the train slowed. She was a little greyer than Tatiana remembered but with a smile so warm, no frost could touch it, when she caught sight of her daughter. Tatiana gathered her bags together and hurried off the train.

Sofie hugged her daughter for a long moment before stepping back to get a good look at her in that way reserved by mothers for chastising children that do not visit their poor old parents often enough. "Have you grown?"
"No mother. I don't believe so."
"You look taller."
"I haven't grown in over twenty years."
"Are you sure you-"
"No, I can't do that." Tatiana shuddered involuntary. Of all the hundreds of different powers she'd witnessed over the last four years, that one creeped her out most. Or to be more precise, it wasn't the power that did the creeping. "How about we go home out of the cold?"
"You,re wearing the gloves I sent you? Good. Can't have those hands of yours getting cold. Well let's get you home then."
Tatiana rolled her eyes. Still, it was good to be back.

Dirty grey sludge was piled up either side of the road from the station towards the small country cottage Lud had brought them to all those years ago. Every year the roads got busier as large poster boards sporting the European Social Fund logo sprung up around new building sites or large holes in the road. Each year a little more of the Soviet fingerprint was being erased. All Tatiana saw were snapshots, but the changes to Estonia in but a few years were remarkable. Sofie drove the short distance home painfully slowly. It was all Tatiana could do to not pass comment - and it didn't escape Sofie's notice. It never did. In fact it was almost as if she got some perverse pleasure from torturing her daughter in this fashion. That or it was a clever means of getting Tatiana to talk about whatever her mother wanted as she tried to distract herself.
"So, have you found someone to share that large apartment of yours with you yet?"
Tatiana blinked. "Not wasting any time this year, are you?"
"I worry about you. A mother is allowed to worry. You shouldn't be alone."
"I'm fine. And I'm not alone."
"Oh?" Sofie never took her eyes off the road but there was definite hope in them. "I have plenty of friends, Mother. A whole orchestra of them." She sighed inwardly. "I spend more time touring than I do at home anyway."
Luckily Sofie was easily diverted by mention of her daughter's career. "And how did the tour go? I got the DVD you sent from Bucharest - it looked wonderful. I swear you're sounding better every time I hear you."
Tatiana smiled. "Thank you. It went very well - we're preparing for another in the spring."
"Will you be playing here this time?"
"Klaus always tries to get us a date in Tallinn, Mother. The timings just didn't work out this time round."
"I do wish you'd consider moving back to Estonia." Sofie said. "All the halls have been refurbished - they're crying out for home grown talent. And things aren't what they were back when you started here." They stopped at a light and Sofie took the opportunity to look at her and touch her hand. "And I do miss you all that way in St Petersburg."
Tatiana smiled back sadly. So many reasons she couldn't begin to explain. "They stuck by me, Mother. Through my divorce, through - well they didn't have to take me back when I left after my eruption. Like I said, they're my friends."
The lights changed and Sofie drove on through the crossroads with a sigh. "As long as you are happy, kallike, then I'm happy. Will you write a piece for this one?"
Tatiana shook her head, trying not to laugh at her mother's constant attempts to improve her life. "I'm not a composer. I just play."
"Nonsense. How do you know until you try?"
If nothing else, the conversation had kept her mind off the driving. Thankfully they were just about home. "Because I know where my talents lie. Whose is the car?"
An unfamiliar dark blue estate car was parked outside the house. Sofie parked beside it, clucking her tongue. "Always the cars with you, isn't it?"
Tatiana grinned. "Oh I don't know. Sometimes it's the airplanes."
Sofie might have sent a chastising remark her direction, but Tatiana was already out of the car and running toward the front door that had just opened. Boris grinned for only the shortest moment before she barrelled into him. Sofie smiled to herself. It was good to have the children home.

"Boris! I thought you couldn't make it this year!"
Boris stood slightly taller, a lot broader, and a little darker than his sister but with the same crystal blue eyes. He hugged her, laughing deeply. "When I told the partners how seldom I get to see my little sister, they felt guilty making me work the Christmas so here I am."
"It's good to see you." Sofie came in through the door, picking her way over the bags Tatiana has unceremoniously dropped in the hall. "Mother! You didn't tell me Boris was here!"
"I wouldn't let her. I wanted to surprise you."
"Alright you two. Will you get these bags upstairs so I can close the door and keep some heat in the house?"
"Sorry." Before Boris had even the chance to pick one up, Tatiana had all the bags and was halfway up the stairs. Even with her abilities dormant, she was still that bit quicker than him. He shrugged to his mother as she finally got the door closed. "I don't think I'm ever going to get used to that."
"Hush now. You know how she is."
Tatiana returned in time for Boris to take her hand. "Come on, I have another surprise for you."

In the living room, a young blonde woman sat on the edge of her seat unsure as to whether she should stand or sit. She quickly stood when the three entered but kept her hands clasped together. Boris released his sister's hand to stand beside her and put an arm around her shoulder.
"Tatiana, this is Karin - I've been dying for you to meet her." He kissed Karin's cheek, making her blush bright red. "Karin, this is my little sister Tatiana."
Karin hurried forward to offer her hand. "It's nice to finally meet you. Boris talks about you all the time."
Tatiana shook her hand with a smile. "Don't believe half of it." And with a meaningful glance at Boris, "And Boris hasn't told me anything about you."
Boris chuckled and punched her gently in the arm - or at least tried to before she neatly stepped to one side. "Which is why you should come see me more often. Or at least call once in a while. It wouldn't kill you, you know."
"You know that phone number I gave you last year? It still works."
Sofie tutted at them as she peered around the door. "You could both learn to use a phone more often. I'm going to take care of dinner - do you need anything for now, Tatiana?"
"I'm fine, Mother."
"Are you sure? You haven't eaten since you got here."
"Which was five minutes ago. I'm not quite that bad."
"You know where the kitchen is if you change your mind."
"Yes Mother."
Sofie smiled. "I'll leave you kids to it. Where's Emil?"
Karin nodded over towards the sofa just as a small equally blond boy of eight years popped his head up from behind it. "Here I am. You've got a great sofa for hiding behind. Ours is small and you can see right under it."
"I'm very glad you like it, Emil. Will you come help me with dinner?"
"Ok!" Emil crawled up and over the back of the sofa, tumbling down into the seat. "Emil! Behave yourself! Now come and say hello before you help Sofie." Karin ushered the boy to her side. She looked back at Tatiana apologetically. "This is my son Emil. He's a little over excited today." She stood the boy in front of her with both her hands on his shoulders. "Emil, this is Boris' sister-"
"You're Tatiana Gorevitch!" Emil looked up to Boris in utter astonishment. "You never told me she was your sister!"
"Why do I get the feeling this isn't inspired by a great love of music?" Tatiana sighed.
Emil continued, bouncing now with new excitement, intense green eyes shining up at her. "Arni - he's my best friend at school - he's got all the books and he's even got some action figures but he's never met a real life racing driver!"
Sofie cleared her throat and stepped in from the doorway. Boris' grin faded as his gaze fell on Tatiana.
It was as if the temperature in the room suddenly fell. "Don't be rude, Emil-", said Karin trying vainly to stop her young son from putting his foot deeper into what she could only guess was an awkward situation.
"We saw the race in LA at Arni's house coz Mum says we can't get those foreign channels - it was wicked! Arni thought Captain Victory would win but you just left him in the dust! And then when that other one tried to - ooh, that was so close but you just swerved away and it made him lose the race!"
Tatiana could almost feel herself growing smaller and smaller as Emil kept talking. Now that would have been a useful power to have right about now...
"Tatiana?"
Even now at 33 years of age, the sound of her name in that tone struck terror from her head to her toes. She turned around to her mother. Slowly. She was desperately searching for an acceptable excuse but if Aleks' reaction was anything to go by...
"It was just a once off and it was for charity."
"So it's true. When was this?" The only thing worse than angered shouting were those crisp short replies that conveyed all the disappointment the world could bear.
"September this year."
"I see. Well I should get on with the dinner." Sofie turned around and left the room. Moments later the kitchen door closed very quietly behind her. Tatiana only heard it because no one in the room was speaking. Even Emil was staring at her in wide eyed shock when she turned back to them.
Boris shook his head at her. "She was only saying yesterday how you seemed to have grown out of that."
"Boris, don't. Please."
Not quite sure what had just happened, Emil looked up at his mother. "Should I still go help Sofie?"
Karin nodded, gently pushing him to the door. Just before he reached it, she called to him. "Emil? Just... try to remember your manners, ok?"
When he was gone, Karin grimaced at Tatiana. "I'm sorry. I had no idea he was watching that sort of thing. I don't allow it at home."
Tatiana shook her head. "It's not his fault. It's no one's fault."
"That part I have to disagree with, Tatiana.", said Boris.
She whirled on him, all the frustration suddenly finding a target. "I asked you to stop! I'll take this from Aleks and I'll take it from my mother but that's all I'm taking!"
His eyes grew large. "Aleks? The man that left you because he couldn't handle all this? We stick by you and he's the one with special dispensations for telling you what an idiot you're being?! What do you still have to see him for anyway?!"
"I've told you a hundred times it wasn't like that! And dammit Boris, it's been sixteen years - get over it!"
"Um, maybe I should go help Sofie too..."
The glare that was passing between Boris and Tatiana immediately broke as they were reminded that someone else was in the room. Boris smiled at her. "No, don't. We're sorry - we do this, we yell at each other and then we're best friends again. It's something of a tradition. Isn't that right, Tat?"
She closed her eyes and as quickly as he said, the anger subsided. She opened them again with a smile. "We are sorry. Do you have a big brother?"
Karin nodded. "His name's Gregor."
"Then you know how stupidly over-protective they can be." Tatiana wrapped an arm around Boris' waist, only to be squeezed in return. "I still love him though."
"I'm really sorry. Emil just gets so excited..."
"It's fine. I should have told them sooner it is just that I have a none too good history with driving fast and everyone is still a little nervous about it."
Boris laughed heartily. "Ever the master of understatement, my sister. But let's not talk about this anymore. Come. I've not heard how your last tour went. Have you mastered that Rachmaninov yet?"

Tatiana could have been six years old again as she opened the kitchen door. That time she had tried to smuggle a stray dog into her room. That time she had the excuse of not knowing any better. Sofie was busy showing Emil how to make pastry. He was covered in flour and appeared to be having the time of his life.
"Mother?"
"There's a letter for you." She nodded over to the sideboard, still clearly upset with her daughter. "Your suspension is up. You can get your licence back."
Tatiana picked up the documents and leafed through them, lingering longer than necessary on the address from which they'd been redirected. The tiny flat in Tallinn she shared with Aleks after they married. She almost smiled, but caught her mother watching her from the corner of her eye. "Oh. I forgot all about it."
Sofie came over to her, wiping her hands in her apron. She took one of those deep calming breaths she always took when it was time to talk reason. "You know I worry about you. I thought - at least now you can fly anywhere you want, this is one less worry."
"I know. I'm sorry. It really was just a once off. I promise."
Sofie sighed deeply. "How many times have you promised us you would stop driving so fast?"
"I fly faster than I could ever drive. You can believe me this time."
Sofie put a hand to her daughter's face, resignation in her eyes. "You just be careful out there." With slightly less sincerity, she patted her cheek. "And find yourself a man!"
Tatiana laughed. "I try, but they have this annoying habit of running away when I tell them about my wonderful mother. I can't figure it."
"Such cheek! And to your own mother! Why don't you go across to the office? You might have better luck getting Lud to leave it be and come home."
"Ok."
"Are you going to fly?" Emil piped up now that there wasn't a spot left on his skin and clothes devoid of flour. "Coz Sofie was telling me how you do that. She says you're really good at playing piano too."
Tatiana looked from Emil to her mother, who shrugged, with a grin. "I'll be walking."
"Oh." He looked positively disappointed.
"Well wear a coat for heaven's sake. Lud's spare one is back of the door."
"Yes Mother."
"Hold a second." Sofie quickly cut a thick slice of bread and with a speed even Tatiana could find enviable, carved a couple of slices from the turkey and piled them on the bread with stuffing and cheese. She pushed it into Tatiana's hands. "Eat something. I know you like to act 'normal' at home but you have to eat."
Tatiana wasn't going to dare disobey.

Lud Gaarve looked at the stack of paperwork on his desk. It was tempting to ignore it, say it would still be there after Christmas and just leave it. Problem was, it would still be there after Christmas. He couldn't go through the holidays knowing it was here waiting for him. All this technology in the world today and still he was stuck paper pushing for the EU on Christmas Eve. The intercom link with the outside office buzzed.
"Minister Gaarve, your daughter is here."
He flicked the button on the unit. "Well send her in!" Lud was out of his seat and around the desk as the door opened.
"Tatiana! How good to see you!" He greeted her with a hug that was readily returned.
"Good to see you too, Dad." She straightened herself up. "I was sent to bring you home."
"Were you now?" Lud took another look at his in tray. It could wait and just like that, it didn't bother him in the slightest anymore. Not when compared to spending Christmas with his family. And well Sofie knew that Tatiana was the one to remind him. From the day she first asked if she could call him Dad, he'd never been able to refuse her anything. Even when he should have. "Your mother is getting more manipulative in her old age."
Tatiana laughed. "More? Please no."
"My coat looks good on you."
"She insisted."
His head went to one side as his shoulders raised. "Well, you want her to treat you normal, she treats you normal." His shoulders fell and a shadow fell across his face as he frowned.
"Is something wrong?", asked Tatiana, picking up on the change in his mood easily.
He bit his lip, then nodded. "I know you don't like talking about you being a Nova when you're home, but can you humour me briefly?"
"What is it?" Tatiana held her breath, not daring to pick which of the hundreds of questions it could be.
Lud sat on his desk so he could lean back and reach into one of the drawers. A moment later he pulled out a file. It had her name on it. "This." He handed it to her. As she opened it up he continued. "I have staff paid to go through all the international news media looking for anything that might be relevant to us. Now I must stress that I never asked them to bring these to me. But I never asked them to stop either."
Tatiana flicked slowly through the print outs and cuts outs. The party on Hawaii, the jail break, and there it was - the race. She looked up at him, not sure what to think of this. But the best thing to do with Lud, she found, was to ask him. "Are you keeping tabs on me?"
He stood up, taking the folder out of her hands so he could hold them. "I'm so very proud of you, kallike. These are good things you're doing - if dangerous. I showed you that so you'll know that I know. So if you ever need to talk about all this - you'll know you can come to me and not have to explain it all first. You understand?" His eyes searched hers - there was no way his intentions were anything other than stated.
Finally she nodded. "Thank you."
"Do you have anyone to talk to?"
She smiled. "Yes Dad. But I appreciate knowing you're here too."
"Always."
She let out the breath she was holding, relieved not to have another argument on her hands - which immediately returned her thoughts to home. "Do Mother and Boris know about that file?"
Lud shook his head. "I haven't said anything. But Tatiana, my staff just open the papers and check the sites. Nothing more covert than that. Sooner or later it will be something your Mother reads."
"I know." She sighed.
"And can I just say one more thing before we get out of here? Please be careful. The kind of people you're dealing with now - however good your powers may be, you're still just a pianist. You're not equipped for dealing with this should it turn sour. And you have, shall we say, a propensity for getting in over your head."
This time she had to force the smile. "I'm being careful, Dad. I promise."

Karin returned from the kitchen to the living room where Boris waited. "Emil is having too much fun with your mother. She's great with him. I was afraid he'd be getting in the way by now but, well honestly they're getting on like a house on fire."
Boris grinned and held out a hand so she'd come and join him. "She's good with kids. And..." he gulped, "Emil is the first sign she's had of a grandchild. It makes her a little crazy."
Karin sat and they both collapsed into the warmth and comfort of the sofa and one another. "In that case I can imagine the pressure Tatiana must be getting. The girls always get it more than the boys."
There was a short intake of breath. "Yeah, that's another thing we tend not to talk about when Tat is home. Novas can't have children."
"Oh." Karin's cheeks reddened. "Glad I didn't put my foot in that one in front of her. Does it upset her?"
Boris shrugged. "To be honest, I don't really know. She won't talk about any of it with us. She was a Nova for over a year before we found out - she's really sensitive about it. At least she is at home. Her excuse for not telling us was she wanted one place she could go to where it wasn't part of who she was."
"So doesn't she use her powers then? What was it you said, she flies?"
"Oh I'm very sure she does use them. Who wouldn't? Just not here. Rather ingenious I have to admit. It diffused Mother's anger at her totally - over a year! And it was quite a serious accident that led to her eruption too."
"How did you find out if she wasn't telling?"
Boris sat up straight and turned around to her. "You know what? Let's not talk about my sister. If she's not being a child prodigy she's running away from school to go kiiking or getting married too young or driving too fast or moving to Russia or getting divorced... and she wants to be treated normal now?"
Karin chuckled. "You couldn't possibly be a little jealous of all the attention she's getting, could you?"
"She's welcome to it." He smiled back. "The only person I want attention from is you."
They kissed a moment until Karin pulled away. "So when do we tell them?"
His grin only grew. "At dinner."
"Good." She put her hand in her pocket and took out a gold engagement ring. "I can't wait much longer to wear this all the time."

Tatiana and Lud walked side by side through the snow and the fading evening light, both wrapped in warm winter coats with woollen hats, scarves and gloves. They were crossing the railway bridge when Lud asked had she and Boris had their fight yet. Tatiana rolled her eyes, not that he could see it.
"Are we so predictable?"
"Wouldn't be Christmas without it. At least you don't go trying to kill each other anymore. I fear Boris may have the disadvantage now."
"Didn't bother him all those years when he was bigger than me."
Lud laughed a while, then grew serious again. "And how is Aleks? I assume it was his name that started it off again. Did you see him this year?"
"Yes and yes. He's good. His uncle died recently but he's ok." She paused a moment, listening to their footsteps disappear in the crunching snow. "He's upset with me."
Lud nodded gravely. "You see him on your birthday, yes?"
"And our anniversary. You know I do."
"But a few weeks after that race in America. He found out about it?"
"Worse. He watched it."
Lud tutted as he shook his head. "Does it surprise you he's so upset?"
She sighed. Deeply. "No. It's just - ", she stopped walking and turned to him, "I'm trying. I promised him I'd get it under control and at least stay off the roads - and it's been really hard sometimes but I never broke that promise. I thought - this wasn't like before! It was organised, EMS were everywhere if anything went wrong - it was a charity race! I thought it would be ok."
His hand went to her shoulder, found it well padded against the elements, and so went to rest on her face. "You didn't see him at the hospital the night of your accident, Tatiana. Before the doctors told us it was just some broken bones and concussion. When we were all imagining the worst. It's never going to be ok. Not for him."
They started walking again. After a moment's thought, Tatiana continued. "I know. I mean, I should have known. I never thought-"
"Which is exactly the problem, Tatiana. You don't think. That's what addictions are. You don't think."
"You make it sound like I'm some kind of junkie."
He looked at her sideways a second, then straight ahead of them as he spoke. "Your mother thinks this flying means you get your fix of adrenaline or whatever it is you're hooked on. You've seen what I've seen and I suspect there's more that the media don't."
"It's under control, Dad."
"I hope so."
"I'm trying. I really am."
Lud grimaced briefly then put an arm around her shoulders. "I know, kallike. And Aleks knows too." They walked the steps to the small gateway that led onto the property before Lud asked, "You still miss him, don't you?"
Lud being perhaps the only person she would admit it to, Tatiana replied with a nod. "Yes." She stepped through the gate he opened for her and waited for him to close it. "Dad?"
"Don't worry." He winked. "It will be our secret. Come on, dinner should be ready by now."
"Good." Tatiana replied. "I'm starving."

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